Without even noticing, women live every day by rules designed centuries ago—rules created by men, for men. I say this without blame; it is simply a fact. Yes, matriarchal or matrilineal societies exist, but they make up barely 0.062% of the world’s population—not even a tenth of a percent.
The systems we follow today—the preferences we’re taught to have, the standards we measure ourselves against, the dreams we are encouraged to chase—are often not our own. They were shaped by male leaders, teachers, and example-setters generations ago. Even though those men are long gone, their ideals have been passed down for roughly 480 generations, and our grandmothers and mothers carried forward men-centered rules of how the world should work.
Over time, we internalized male perceptions and reactions so deeply that sexism and misogyny became invisible. We learned to perpetuate them ourselves through internalized misogyny. After all, from Gods to big brothers, men set the rules, and women’s role was to accept. We learned the rules of men’s games and mastered them to succeed, to feel safe, to feel worthy, exceptional.
We, estrogen-driven creatures, adopted a ‘testosterone-living’ way, oblivious to our estrogen flow with its unique timing and rules, and we became so good at gaslighting ourselves.
But here’s the truth: by the age of 30s, many of us begin to sense the disconnect. We feel it in the tension between how we live and how our minds and bodies naturally flow. Slowly, women start seeking another way—one that honors their cycles instead of suppressing them. They explore cycle-syncing, listen to their bodies, move with the natural phases, and embrace transitions, in their highs and lows.
The realization of one’s own cycle is liberating: our pattern is already perfect. And when we allow it to flow freely, we allow ourselves to feel whole.
It will be soon 10 years since I intentionally stepped away from “testosterone-style” living, and I still need reminders. I still catch myself defaulting to male-originated beliefs and standards I internalized long ago. The unlearning is ongoing: I keep questioning what I was told is “right,” and slowly replace that with new values, attitudes, and skills—this time aligned with my flow.
This is not an easy task, but it is necessary. Because living fully as myself means building a life that honors my cyclical nature, not one that forces me into someone else’s linear rules.